Sitting on the Precipice

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When I was 9 years old, I lost almost everything I cherished overnight. That's when my childhood came to an abrupt end.

Life showed me that there are no guarantees, not even for a kid. One day you can be living in paradise. The next day you're alone and on the ground.

It was a difficult, but valuable experience. I realized that there is nothing fair or certain about the world. Life deals you cards. Some cards are good. Others are terrible. The cards in your hand can change at any moment.

If you're not prepared for this reality, you can go to a very dark place. That's what happened to me. I fell into a deep depression. I grew resentful and angry with the world. That's a weird place to be when you're a kid.

As I fought to dig myself out of the ditch of despair, I stumbled upon the most valuable lesson of life.

While you can't control the cards you're dealt, you can control how you respond to the cards in your hand. A tough situation can devastate you, or it can be the fuel you need to create a better reality.

Ultimately, your life is defined by how you choose to see and play your hand.

This simple truth is everywhere. It's in the writings of the Stoics, the philosophies of people who have endured unimaginable tragedies, and the timeless wisdom that your grandparents try to share with you.

The problem is remembering this lesson when you get knocked down.

When shit really hits the fan – you get depressed, you have a major health scare, you encounter injustice in the world – you lose the plot.

You become violently sad or angry. You complain and blame others. You develop an unshakable self-loathing.

There's nothing easy about falling off of a cliff. When you open your eyes, you don't know where the hell you are or how many bones are broken. You may not even know if you're still alive.

All you want to do is grab the bottle and go to sleep.

And that's what many people do. They lose themselves to substances and activities that end them. Their hearts and minds harden. Long before they experience physical death, they are dead on the inside.

I've been there. My mind has lost itself to the darkness. In these moments, all I can see is the despair of the world. An endless tape of negativity strangles my mind.

It's a bad place to be, but I've learned that there is always a way out.

It starts with the little actions. Eat healthy food. Get enough sleep. Exercise. Talk to a friend. Write about the good moments of life.

Little by little, I remember the lesson that life taught me early on – no matter how bad my cards are, I have control over how I see those cards and what I choose to do with them.

I realize that I haven't actually fallen off the cliff.

I'm dangerously close, but I'm on the precipice. At least for now, life is still here. And I can choose to make it a better version than what it is today. It may take time, but I can do it.

Eventually, I do. I find the strength to turn around and see that the storm is passing over. A rainbow has formed. The birds have started singing. And even if only for a brief moment, I remember how beautiful life can be.

As the clouds pass over, the despair starts to fade. Spring is coming. I realize that I have no idea how much more time I have, but I know I better make the most of it. That's the point of life.

As hope re-enters my soul, I get up and walk away from the precipice. It's not time to go yet.

If you're near the precipice, you're not alone.

I hope you see that there's always a way out.

 — Cal

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