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- Life Partners, Rural France, Internet Fun, and Being a Writer
Life Partners, Rural France, Internet Fun, and Being a Writer
What if you created something simply because it was fun?
Calvin Rosser
February 12, 2023
Hello friends and welcome back to Life Reimagined, a free weekly elixir designed to make you feel good and live better.
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❤️ I. Finding a Life Partner
I recently re-watched Shallow Hal (2001), a story about a middle-aged guy whose obsession with physical appearance prevents him from having meaningful interactions with women. Hal ends up running into life guru Tony Robbins, who helps him see the inner beauty in everyone. And if you want to know what happens next, you’ll have to watch the movie 😉.
The storyline reminded me of a trap that a younger version of myself and many other people I’ve met fall into — overemphasizing looks and failing to appreciate the more meaningful, rich, and enduring inner world of people.
It also made me curious about what it takes to find a life partner (if that’s your thing) in a world filled with looks-focused dating apps and curated social media feeds.
Steph and I explored this curiosity in our latest episode of the Sh*t You Don’t Learn in School: Finding a Life Partner. We cover a lot of ground, including data about modern dating, how we thought about finding a person to be with, and what we would do if we had to start over today.
📚️ II. Book I’m Enjoying
Thanks to a recommendation from Ben, a Life Reimagined reader, I started reading A Year in Provence by Peter Mayle this week. It’s a fun and humorous tale about the author’s time in Provence, France.
The writing is descriptive and humorous and helped me learn more about the little quirks and charms of life in Southern France. If you give it a read, be warned that the descriptions of food and wine may make you ravenous. So make sure to have some bedside snacks (like cheese and wine) with you!
💻 III. Fun Websites
My wife put me onto Neal Agarwal’s wonderful website Neal.fun, and I’m glad she did. Neal has built a series of mini-sites that you should check out if you have some free time. You can find everything from:
In a world where everyone is trying to sell you something, it’s awesome to see a stranger exploring his curiosity by building cool tools for all of us to explore simply because it’s fun. It’s the internet at its finest.
✍️ IV. So You Want to be a Writer?
I finished Post Office, my first Bukowski book. That initial taste led me to explore some of his poetry, and I stumbled upon this gem about being a writer. The poem spoke to some of the struggles I’ve had in attempting to write my first book, though I believe its message extends to more domains than writing.
“So you want to be a writer?”
if it doesn't come bursting out of you
in spite of everything,
don't do it.
unless it comes unasked out of your
heart and your mind and your mouth
and your gut,
don't do it.
if you have to sit for hours
staring at your computer screen
or hunched over your
typewriter
searching for words,
don't do it.
if you're doing it for money or
fame,
don't do it.
if you're doing it because you want
women in your bed,
don't do it.
if you have to sit there and
rewrite it again and again,
don't do it.
if it's hard work just thinking about doing it,
don't do it.
if you're trying to write like somebody
else,
forget about it.
if you have to wait for it to roar out of
you,
then wait patiently.
if it never does roar out of you,
do something else.
if you first have to read it to your wife
or your girlfriend or your boyfriend
or your parents or to anybody at all,
you're not ready.
don't be like so many writers,
don't be like so many thousands of
people who call themselves writers,
don't be dull and boring and
pretentious, don't be consumed with self-
love.
the libraries of the world have
yawned themselves to
sleep
over your kind.
don't add to that.
don't do it.
unless it comes out of
your soul like a rocket,
unless being still would
drive you to madness or
suicide or murder,
don't do it.
unless the sun inside you is
burning your gut,
don't do it.
when it is truly time,
and if you have been chosen,
it will do it by
itself and it will keep on doing it
until you die or it dies in you.
there is no other way.
and there never was.
🧠 VI. Something I’m Thinking About
“Some men learn all they know from books; others from life; both kinds are narrow. The first are all theory; the second are all practice. It’s the fellow who knows enough about practice to test his theories for blow-holes that gives the world a shove ahead, and finds a fair margin of profit in shoving it.”
That's all for now. See you next Sunday.
— Cal
🌎️ Three other things you might enjoy
Doing Time Right: Everyone wants to get more done in less time. This course will show you exactly how to do that with the eliminate, automate, delegate, and iterate framework.
Foundations. Looking for good books to read? Check out Foundations, a growing digital notebook with notes & lessons from 100+ timeless books.
Listen to the Podcast: Feel like school didn't prepare you for adulthood? The Sh*t You Don't Learn in School podcast exists to help make up for this societal failure.
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